Journal entry for September 27, 2001

Today's summary: On being an artist, and chicken bones.

Being an artist is a real hassle sometimes.

Think of it like this... it's an irresistable force in your mental life. There's plenty of times when you can't stop thinking about things from an artist's perspective, even if you want to.

Here's an example. I brought home some chicken for my husband the other day. Last night I found a stray chicken bone under the microwave. Now, any NORMAL person would presumably be slightly grossed out, and throw it away. But once I saw it, I couldn't possibly throw it away -- no, no, I suddenly realized I could use it as the spine for an insect sculpture. Maybe a dragonfly. Art alert, art alert!

So, I kept it.

Not only did I keep it, but I cleaned the surface with a utility knife to get the last little bits of cartilage off. I was also obsessing over trying to figure out how to sanitize it and bleach it out. Of course I could leave it in the sun for a while, but, I might lose it on my deck -- or a bird might steal it.

So instead, I microwaved it in water for a while. Then hit it with Scrubbing Bubbles (with bleach!) for a soak. Then it occurred to me that the bleach might soak in and the pH imbalance could damage the future artwork, so then I soaked it in soap instead, inside a ziplock baggie. Interesting bubbles formed as these substances reacted to each other... Probably one of those super-toxic gases they warn you will form when you mix bleach and ammonia.

Keep in mind that this entire time, I was supposed to be working on something I had brought home from work. But could I focus on that? At all? NO. And I tried, believe me... but it was no use, I kept contemplating the pH of various substances in my house that I could use to clean and neutralize. Vinegar? Windex? Water? Hmmm...

I also told myself it didn't MATTER whether this chicken bone was pH neutral or not. After all, what's the worst that could happen? Some wires might get tarnished. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a part of the sculpture in this case, a natural progression of my materials.

I finally gave up and went to bed, figuring that the soap I'd left it in would be practically harmless anyway. Nothing to worry about, right? But... just a couple hours later, I woke up in the middle of the night and remembered that I had some 7.0 pH stabilizing powder that I usually used as buffer for my aquarium. Even so, I tried not to think about it, I tried to go back to sleep... I really did! It could wait till morning, I told myself.

Of course I finally broke down, got out of bed, mixed up a thick slurry of this pH 7.0 stuff. Tossed the chicken bone in there. Went back to bed. Thankfully, I could sleep and I didn't wake up again till morning, when I rinsed the chicken bone off, dried it.

I actually scanned in in, too. Here, look.

Click for a larger view... IF you really want one.
I don't know why you would. I'm still not even sure why *I* did.

Notice also, that the bleach and all those chemicals didn't actually make it white. Then again, it probably doesn't matter... since, knowing me, I'll probably just end up gold leafing it and sealing it anyway.

Of course, somehow I still end up thinking to myself: "It was all worthwhile, because I will make this into a sculpture someday, and this was part of the process."

I guess I'm not sure whether to be slightly annoyed at myself for being so obsessive, or whether to just laugh and roll with it, or both. Either way, I'll eventually end up with a sculpture that includes a chicken bone. And of course now that I've come to the stunning "realization" that bones aren't difficult to acquire... well... who knows where that could lead. I'll try not to think about it.

So am I crazy? Does anybody read these journal entries? You tell me. Heh.